Hiatus from blogging.

Hello, it's me, Ashley. Did you forget me?

...or maybe it should read like this; oh heyy Ashley, it's your blog here...have you forgotten about me?

Life can be awesome. difficult. frustrating. sweet. full. busy. stressful. In the past month and then some I have experienced all of these emotions and then some. Something you don't think about, or I should say something I didn't think about before graduation, was how exactly was I going to approach/ enter the next part of my life or what people like to say as, "young adulthood". I would like to assume that everyone hits a point in life where they wished there was a manual that said, okay these are your options, and this is what we recommend on you doing to start the rest of your life. Some people may feel this way at 18, others at 22, and still some people at 26....or maybe I will feel this way again someday but if that's the case I hope my present self is learning a lot about what I can do better next time.  

Things I am trying to embrace and learn post-graduation, between post-college-graduation and pre full-time employment as a nurse:

1. "Practice makes Progress"
I was running the rope swing at my pool that I have worked at since the ripe ol' age of 17 and there were two best friends. One little girl was trying to teach her friend how to appropriately jump on the rope and put her feet up to get the best "swing". After she exacerbated all explanations on how best do this and her friend was still not doing it "right", I suggested maybe her way is different but not "bad" or "good", her response was while shrugging her shoulders, "I guess...either way practice makes progress". I like this. So much of my life I have been trying to attain perfection (I am a perfectionist at heart to a fault sometimes). Really it's about making progress. Am I becoming a better person through the choices I am making and the opportunities I'm embracing?   

2. Not anyone one person holds the answer to my direction in life, I have to figure it out for myself (& live with the decisions I make)
My whole life I have gotten input and opinions (mostly from my parents) and essentially a plan laid out for me through forced reflection, prayer, and discussion of pros and cons. Now all of a sudden I have been thrown into a world where I life happens, and what I have to choose what I am going to do about it. Don't get me wrong, my parents, grandparents, peers, and advisers still surround me but at the end of the day it is my choice. I recently had to make what I felt has been the hardest decision I've ever made, after the longest most difficult 2 weeks of my life. During this time I had some people that were 100% supportive of my decision, those who were on the fence, and those who in the end would not have made the same choice if they were put in that position. It was the first decision as a young adult that was exclusively my own, and a decision I had to make about my future path in life, that no one else could make for me. It was difficult, but I made a choice and stuck to my guns and followed through.

3. The future is still unknown
I've always known that no one knows what's going to happen next, but somehow I have always thought that adults had some better understanding of the world and how to navigate the logistics and ebbs and flows better than you do as a "child". Well I'm here to say that just because I am now considered a "grownup" I feel no more enlightened or better at making decisions than I did before in regards to big-picture/ future stuff....maybe in another 25 years.

I end with this, sometimes when life is hard you have to prioritize and focus on what is essential. This blog has always been for me and written more as a small snapshot of my life, and I plan on keeping it that way. This means I cannot commit and won't fall into the expectations that I have to write everyday (though you probably knew that if you've been reading this blog for any length of time...or if anyone even reads this anymore?) Two, thanks for letting me keep this a safe space. I like hearing from my friends and family that read this, and I try to remain authentic. However, having this on the world-wide-web some things need to be filtered.

I have no fun pictures or big announcements, just a boring reflection and somewhat vague entry. Hopefully with the holidays coming up and change in season I'll have more to write.

I do have one thing to say, this fall has been AWESOME in Minnesota. I love that the transition into winter has been slow and steady and still no intense snow (yet!). It has really been nice to stay outside longer and embrace the season I never got to before as a student.

I'll end with this quote:

“Patience child, patience. Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there’d be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you’ll see these “setbacks” as giant leaps forward, only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, all is within reach; all you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you’ll surely find the treasure that you seek.” | Jackson Kiddard