on grow(ing)-up.

I don't have the newest trendy wardrobe, thigh gap, or a walk in closet. I don't have sponsors that supplement my clothing, home decor, and I don't receive any money from my blog to add to my adequate, although, modest income as a new nurse. I am not married. I do not have children. I have a passion and calling for nursing, love, and justice. I have a desire and need for independence. I am learning how to budget, save, and make ends meet while living in a way that is promotes simplicity, quality over quantity, and allows margin in life for adventure and the pursuit of living a fulfilling life.

What I have been trying to focus my energy and effort in is eliminating unnecessary distraction, practicing high work ethic, slow to speak - quick to listen, not falling prey to jealousy, being an authentic & genuine self to everyone I meet, giving it my best. Life is hard, messy, and all sorts of challenging, but I am trying to live intentionally, and purposefully into what the call is for my life.

The things I am wrestling most with right now is work/ life balance, being physically healthy, finding room for self-respect & grace, making margin. I hate working out, it's easier to go out to eat then make a meal, I rather spend time alone than try making new friends or build community around me, and internalizing difficult feelings or situations is the easiest way for me to deal with it.

All of these realities have been the most difficult for me to deal with post-college-graduation. Work is challenging but in an exciting and invigorating way, but finding a sense of balance and routine is the most difficult for me right now. I am trying to be honest and work a little bit at a time  to figure it out, but one things for certain is there is no manual on how to be a "grownup".                 

1-Year Anniversary|| NCLEX

July 5th, 2013||
I woke up anxious knowing I had to wait an extra day to find out the results of my exam because of the holiday (thanks a lot United States!). I rolled over in my bed in the hotel and logged into the website...not to mention all my passwords were saved I don't know how many times from checking for results for the past 24 hours, and there it was I passed my NCLEX - RN exam, on the first time.  |see last years post here|

Fast forward, one year later, to July 5th 2014. Officially 6 months under my belt at my first post-graduation job at July 6th, and feeling fairly independent in my practice. Nursing is a strike of balance, balance on the job and off. It is a part of the career I didn't anticipate would hit me as hard as it has. The fast paced job during work and transitioning to home life and having any semblance of a life...well I'm not so good at. Also coming from a person that requires 8 hours of sleep every night doesn't help either.

Last year I had to take my exam up in Duluth which was okay with me, mostly because my family has spent many years up in Duluth for the July 4th celebrations. Having my exam up there on the 3rd just made for a good excuse that following my exam the remainder of my family met my mom and I for the remaining holiday weekend. This year I was lucky enough to have July 4th as my holiday off, so my parents and I went down to Red Wing, MN to get out of the city and break from routine. I appreciated the time with my parents, time away, and a bit of just quiet space from work & home life.  

 

 We arrived in Red Wing on Thursday, and spent the evening walking around downtown, and relaxing. The next morning we decided to take a hike up Barns Bluff that has a view over the Mississippi and the town of Red Wing, it was worth the climb. 

 

 

 

....apparently we took a trail that was "closed"...if you knew how much of a rule follower my mom was you'd understand why this photo is quite funny!

Of course, a delayed post, but decided it was worth it anyway. I find it important to celebrate the mile stones in life, no matter how big or small. As I posted a selfie when I was back at work on the 5th of July on instagram, "if only I knew then what I do now".  Keep in perspective the journey and where I've come from.

my nursing heart.

oh how my nursing heart needed this weekend.
it needed the good, the bad, the ugly. but in the end it was so so good, my heart is full.

nursing is work, I get paid, I punch in and out of the clock for my shift, I get benefits & PTO.

|B U T|

nursing is my heart. it is my passion, an extension of my purpose in life to serve, learn, and grow from human interaction, in the most intimate, scary, frustrating of times. . . the most exciting, best, and hopeful of times.  my work is filled with juxtaposition, with a lot of complexity, this challenge to find balance for people in their lives and in my career is the fuel for me to keep pursuing to be a better nurse, a better human, for myself, my patients, family & friends. I cannot articulate it to you in any other way than yelling from the rooftops,
"I have found the best career in the world (for me)".

I know that not everyone's career is the same as their purpose in life. Instead, their career enables them to pursue their passions, interests, dreams, and fulfillment. For me, I get fuel for my soul from my career in nursing.

Nursing work is draining, empowering, frustrating, gratifying, everything that one feels when they are working within their strength area. I can only wish but the best for people to find this in their lives, whether this means the source is from employment, hobbies, dreams, motherhood/ fatherhood.

||

I tell this to my patients regularly, no one should be used to or good at navigating the health care system, I don't wish these beds to be filled every night as they are, but I as your nurse am going to do my best to be your advocate, your educator, your assistant during this stressful and uncertain time. there is never a good time for a hospitalization, never a good time to say goodbye to a loved one, never a good time to adjust to a lifestyle change due to health status. I am your nurse, I will be here for you, but it takes you and me, a team, working together to move forward.

It's an empowering experience to work with patience and coworkers over consecutive days and sometimes even weeks, to see your relationship and trust grow, seeing the progress people make, even if it feels like it is "one step forward, two steps back". This weekend was that for me, a reminder that no one enters your life as an accident, I truly believe that each relationship I make at my job, even if it is for a short time has purpose. My patients and fellow nurses/ health care professionals give me so much more some days than I ever feel like I can provide for them, for that I am thankful on this long-weekend of work.        

my first double.

When working at a place that houses sick people, it is a 24-7 operation, and since you can never predict when the "busy" season will be staffing (I imagine can be a bit of a challenge). Good thing for me that's not my job and I just show up when I am told, work hard, do the best that I can for my patients and myself.

Last night was one of those nights where the hospital census was super duper high for our hospital (over 300 people?) just our campus alone, and our unit was at FULL capacity. So that means the night shift needed extra help. I volunteered for a "deal" so I doubled yesterday so I didn't have to come back this evening and squeeze in a few extra days off. Good thing as soon as found out I quickly called Jimmy John's and ordered a second meal of the day and the extra time was actually kinda a welcomed breath of fresh air. I felt like I actually got to be present with my patients, see problems resolve, and progress made.

I have had way more sleep this week than on an average week, partially due to my friends working more this week, my boy friend being out of town, and other circumstances so I felt that I could handle taking on the extra shift. Which actually I pleasantly felt pretty good after....which is quite ironic because I was commenting on Monday morning when I had to "double-back" where I got off at 11:30 and back at work at 8am (which I've decided is WAY worse than doubling), I said I would never double. Apparently I spoke too soon, and I think I will like the noticeable difference in my pay check next time.

For those who work funny jobs like me, know yourself, know your limits, and then sometimes stretch them...you may surprise yourself.  

hi, my name is ashley, and I'll be your nurse for the evening...

nurses week 2014.

I am so proud to see so many of my fellow classmates posting such wonderful pictures, quotes, words, in celebration of nurses week this week. Just a year ago we were students who were on the verge of graduation and could never have guessed what the next year had in store. This week is special to me in so many ways because it's a time I can reflect on so much I have accomplished, so much I am thankful for, and so happy to be in a place surrounded by so many quality nurses on my unit. Tuesday was the first day of celebration of nurses week and that evening my boss came on the unit in scrubs and worked along side us, and throughout the shift passed out these wonderful bags to thank us nurses on her unit. What a great demonstration to work alongside my nurse manager and receive such a fun bag filled with treats and a card that I know I will cherish for a long time to come.

Nursing is so many things that I could never wrap into one blog post, let alone describe how much my heart goes into my job. I love my job. I am so proud to be in this profession. I hope that I can take care of myself so I can take care of my patients. Even on the bad-no good-horrible day, I can't imagine myself having a bad day in any other job.

This week I hope that I can remember all the nurses that left their legacy before me, and act intentionally to be the best nurse I can be, and how I can impact the lives of my co-workers as well as my patients.

Nursing is a team sport and I know I am so thankful for the people that I find around me to support me through it all.

happy nurses week, to all my fellow nursing staff & friends in nursing!

oh but sometimes, sometimes life is hard.

I have alluded to it here in this blog space, on my instagram, and on a really hard day on facebook via a facebook status, but I must say the month of April was one of the toughest months as a nurse I have had yet. I know I'm in transition, I know it's to be expected, I trust and believe it will get better, but it was hard...some days upright hell. There have been two quotes that I continue to go back to, ones that I want to live by, ones that I want to emulate in my career and in my personal life. The first is one that is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, one that has been one of my all-time favorite quotes for a long time, one that got me through a lot of bad days in college. The second is one I recently found on pinterest and I now hold closely as my role as a nurse, the one below, I don't even think any famous person said it, but someone made it into a cool graphic that I could pin on pinterest and so I did. As you go into your weekends I hope you find a little inspiration in these words, whatever your career or lifestyle is, I think they are good insights into qualities that I want to have as a person with good character.  (Other quotes I love and found to pin on pinterest found on this board.) I sometimes post quotes on my instagram and put it under h a s h t a g #wordsworthreading

 

kicked my butt.

 

source unknown. 

I dunno if it was the post-holiday blues, it being a monday, or too many days off in a row for this new nurse that it took more than 45 minutes into my shift for me to feel like the rug was pulled beneath me and had to reorient to the evening shift & rhythm of my unit again. 4 new patients, none I had met before, and it was a busy and long night. Plus, a bad choice in "lunch" brought from home, so much so I justified a post-shift run to taco bell on the way home from work, bad habits brewing...not something I am proud of.

Now it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I am trying to stay up as late as possible because I'm back on nights for the rest of the week! I've checked all my emails, read the weekly update from my boss, double checked my calendar multiple times so that I have everything under control (thank goodness for smart phones!).

Celebrating 6 months of Steffanie {Employed} BSN, RN!!

 

6 months!

A few months ago I wrote about my best friend Melanie successfully having 6 full months of full-time nursing employment in a job that she absolutely adores (here)! Now it's a shout-out to Steffanie, she has persevered through studying for boards, passing, and now successfully completing 6 months of full-time nursing employment. The three of us have decided that transitioning to full-time nursing is tiring, difficult, and frustrating at times, and quite frankly is a hard job that is not really all that glamorous. So in order to be the best nurses we can be and continue to support each other in this career we choose to celebrate the milestones and anniversaries along the way. As well as this allows us to be intentional about our friendships even when it's a time in our lives it would be really easy to be independent and go our separate ways. So for this weekend of celebrating will be going to Graves Hotel and spending a night in downtown Minneapolis, relaxing, celebrating, and spending time together. I can't think of a better way to celebrate Steff and spend time together. I'm hoping I will have a few pictures to throw together a fun blog post from our shinanigans.

Post dated for April 21st - Steff's official 6 month anniversary. Post written 04/27/2014

Confessions of a workaholic.

So this post may come turn out to be a nicely articulated piece I'll appreciate later in life, however, it also has the potential for disaster. So read if you dare..this one even has pictures!

I am a 20-something. female. first career-job out of undergrad. licensed and practicing registered nurse. living at my parents house. 7 months into a new relationship. & a workaholic. 

I have been employed through an employer where I had to fill out a W-2 form, and receiving a pay check every two weeks (minus a few family vacations), since the age of 14. In high school my parents covered the basic expenses, but anything "fun" or extra I wanted to do came out of my own personal budget.

Photo Credit: My aunt Janet (me & my uncle talking while at work) - stolen from facebook of course. Circa 2007.

Then college came along and in the summers I worked full-time at a pool lifeguarding, eventually being the one in charge 40 hours a week (at least), plus working a second job as I could to help pay for college. During the school year I worked on campus, I worked at the YWCA that I had a job at since I was 17, and then my senior year of college I had three jobs throughout the school year. Yikes! This is serious. You know what's more serious is that this is not an uncommon story around my friends, and that's both those who had both private school and public school experiences.

 

I don't know why but because of my crazy schedule with school, swimming, and work I have gotten so used to be busy 7 days a week, mostly working evenings and weekends (naturally). So when I transitioned to working in my career as a nurse it actually allowed more space in my life to do what I want - and I don't always know what I am supposed to do with my time. (I only have to work every OTHER weekend?!). So all habits die hard and I find myself picking up shifts at the hospital, as well as still picking up shifts at my pool I've worked at since 17 teaching swimming lessons or lifeguarding. I don't know if there's a "cure", but I do know my family and boyfriend would appreciate it if I did only work what I "had" to work, and not what I keep signing up for.

Who knows what's next for the busy bee!

 (left photo taken prior to my first interview for my current job, right prior to an evening shift!)

On being the newbie on the unit.

I can't decide if my experience in the first 3 months on the job has everything about being the least experienced and newest hire on my unit; or the feelings of inadequacy and self-criticism is to be expected in this adjustment period to being in my "20's" as a "young-adult", independent from my parents. Transitions are difficult, change however once you arrive usually, in my experience tends to be a good thing.

April has always been my favorite month, probably has something to do with my birthday at the end of it, but its the month in Minnesota where it starts to show signs of spring (that have been lost over the long, cold, dark, winter) and moving to a new season sparks a new found faith in the seasons of life. April is my favorite because the year is off to a start and there starts to be seen some remnants of a routine. It also now marks 3 months completed at my first full-time, career job, as a nurse and 5 weeks into working completely independently without a preceptor. That first month on my own was hard, not for the usual reasons working full-time is hard, but because I constantly felt like I was having to prove myself to my peers, my patients, and supervisors. I am optimistic as April begins that work will start to find balance with my personal life, my professional life will start to be more feelings of accomplishment then frustration, and I will start to get ahead in my finances - I never realized how much it would cost to really "afford" all of life's real expenses and maybe be able to start some sort of remnants of a savings account.

I suppose this is more of a rambling of words than anything short of interesting, for now that's all I have to write. Maybe next post will have photos and real-life updates of sorts.

Until next time.     

long stretch.

I'm preparing myself for a Monday, which as for anyone in any career can attest can sometimes be more difficult than it should be after a long weekend.

At my job you aren't in over-time until you have worked over 10 shifts in two weeks, instead of the typical 5 days in one week or 40 hours. The benefit you can string a lot of shifts together so that you can get longer breaks between the long stretches, the downfall, the long stretches can be overwhelming to start. It's like adults version of what I referred to as weeks in nursing school as "hell week". So for a more optimistic spin I try to take each shift as it comes. So for today, I am starting my week and going into my weekend I work, so that means working the next 6 of 7 days, 4 of which will be overnight shifts.

So here's my short and sweet update, because I haven't updated in a while and felt like it might be good to say I still exist but am in transition with this new "normal".

..and if you're in the Midwest anywhere you probably are experiencing what you call the snowiest month of the year March|| so much for spring?

overnight.

 

 Picture taken right before the start of my first evening shift on my own this last Friday, 

coffee in hand of course!

Another week of overnights starts tonight! That means I arrive at work around 10:45pm and leave around 8am (if I'm on schedule). This is the second set of shifts where I am working overnights and we'll see how I fair at preparing to switching my biological clock from being up all day, to up all night.

First, this is not an official post on how to prepare for a night shift. HOWEVER, these are things that I have learned so far about myself. Also, I am very fortunate that right now during this time of my life I have no responsibilities other than myself, no babies, no second jobs (that I have to work), no school or homework, no house (I still am living at my parents house), and alongside that I don't have to do my own grocery shopping. So all of these things make switching on rotating evening, and NOC shifts that much easier.

Things I do to help prepare that work really well:
1) Night before my first night shift, stay up until at least 3am...I do laundry, clean my room, organize my calendar for the week, watch Netflix, all the lights in my room, and usually candles are also lit so my body knows to stay awake.

2) I do not get out of bed until at least noon on the first day, if I wake up, I force myself to fall back asleep,...who can complain right, force myself to be lazy all day?!

3) I do not eat any major meal before 1pm (ideally 2 or 3 is best), not only is it difficult to switch sleeping it is difficult to switch eating, if you can switch both it works that much better for me! Along with this I do not eat my "lunch" before 8pm at night. Leaving me with one more "meal" during my shift.

4) I allow myself 1 source of caffeine on my way into the shift, for me its usually coffee, for the first shift of a set of nights, I treat myself to an espresso drink from my favorite coffee shop. I bring a "back-up" source of coffee just in case I need it, but so far I haven't, with the priority being that when I get home from my shift I need to sleep, a full-"nights" sleep.


That's all I got for now. My first 2 shifts riding solo as a nurse have been pretty uneventful, and for me and my work that's all you can hope for! So here's for my first set of nights on my own, and successfully staying awake.

:)

time to grow.

Today's evening shift will be my first nursing shift completely on my own!
My orientation/ precepted shifts are officially complete.

I completed 7 weeks of orientation on the unit, and I feel I am as prepared as I'll ever be to work independently as a professional RN for my patients on this unit. I look forward to building relationships with my co-workers as well as becoming more confident in my own personal practice.

There's a mix of emotions and yet I have a peace that can only come from my God through ways of all the support and love that I have around me. I know where to go to ask questions, and I know that if I have a question I have fabulous co-workers and nurses to ask.

This weekend will be a workout in endurance but I know that I can do it, and look forward to everything I have yet to learn, patients I yet to interact with, and growing personally and professionally with every new shift.

Thanks for your support, and I look forward to seeing what's to come!

no more day shifts.

photo from the middle of the night with all my lights on to keep me awake.

no more day shifts for this girl, my orientation is quickly coming to an end and soon i'll be on my own.

my official start date was monday, january 6, 2014. my first day on the unit in scrubs was monday, january 13th, 2014. which totals roughly 5 weeks of orientation shifts. i officially have 6 more shifts remaining guaranteed, and 2 next week where i will either orient or be on my own.

the funny thing about nursing, and any job that works with people for that matter is that i will never know everything. i will continue to learn and grow into a more confident, independent nurse, but at the end of the day i will never know everything. i was talking to some of the other nurses on the unit on whether or not i fell "ready" to be on my own, and i think it's such a funny thing to ask. part of me is enjoying the luxury of having 1 patient load for 2 nurses and could enjoy this forever (unrealistic i know), but the other part is ready to be my own nurse without people looking over my shoulder and double-checking everything i do. what i told the other nurses was that orientation is good for a couple things; one, getting to know the unit and the system of where you work, each hospital, each unit lead, each doctor is going to have expectations that orientation guides you through on how to navigate the culture and system of the workplace culture. two, it was a great refresher because for me i hadn't been in a hospital since may of 2013 and reminding myself how to do even the little things was good. as for am i ready? well, yes, i think, but only because i know i'm never going to know how to do everything, and two i only will really remember how to do things once i start really doing them on my own without prompting. i also am looking forward to working alongside skilled nurses and i'll never be alone. i think the biggest asset i bring into a new job is my ability and willingness to problem solve and figure out solutions, but knowing my limits and when to ask questions. i like being independent and being self-sufficient. i like the relationship i can build with my patients when i'm the only nurse they have for the day.

so selfishly i am excited to start working on my own to challenge myself and really start to begin my career as an independent nurse. i also look forward to proving myself to my boss, co-workers, and peers that it was a good choice they hired me and that i am a qualified individual for the position.

what i enjoyed about the day shift:
- schedule
- sleeping at night when it's dark out
- availability of resources & doctors
- surrounded by staff that have been nurses for a long time and have a wealth of knowledge

what i look forward to about the night shift:
- slower pace
- quiet of the hospital
- the younger nurses i'll work with that are more similar to my age
- proving to myself i can do it


last night i worked 3pm - 11:30pm and got home around midnight. i challenged myself to stay awake until 3:15am by doing laundry, eating a big meal when i got home, cleaning the kitchen. i then fell asleep by 3:30am and slept until noon. I then ate a large breakfast. my plan is to take 1 more nap before i leave and aim for a late dinner (8 or 9). Then I'll bring a smaller meal for during my shift.

i am no expert in switching my sleep schedule, and for people that know me i need a minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night, and most nights my lights are out and technology turned off by 10pm every night. i keep telling myself it is just a matter of routine and figuring out the best time to go to bed and sticking to it. i have a small tickle in my throat and a potential of a cold coming on; so that's not good going into my week of overnight shift. we'll see how it goes.

here's to all things new again, learning, and stretching my limits!    

Celebrating 6 months of Melanie {Employed} BSN, RN!!

6 month anniversary.

I have mentioned my good friend Melanie on this good ol' space before {here}, but this weekend Melanie, Steff and I all celebrated Melanie successfully completing 6 full months of full-time RN employment on February 9th, 2014. Back when we graduated and passed our boards we promised each other we would take time to celebrate, relax, and enjoy time away from the pressures of working as a nurse on a routine basis. Whether this was with going out for dinner, on a vacation, or a simple overnight in our lovely city we call home. So it was decided that we would start out by celebrating our 6-month anniversary's of our official start date at our jobs. Melanie was hired as a full-time public health nurse, working for a non-profit organization that sends nurses to work in the homes of patients that have a psychiatric diagnosis and need skilled nursing visits, weekly/ bi-monthly/ or monthly. In her role as a field nurse, she has the demanding job of being part care-coordinator, advocate, and bed-side nurse. She works hard and puts 100% into every patient, they are long days but she also knows she's where she wants to be. She has a heart and passion for her patients and that's evident in how she talks about her job, even on the bad/ crappy days..because yes, they exist.

So we planned an awesome overnight in downtown Minneapolis. We stayed the night in Minneapolis' Hotel Ivy, enjoyed facials & massages at the Ivy Spa Club, and ended the night with a movie on demand and wine. All things that allowed all three of these nurses to take full advantage of relaxation and respite from the demanding jobs that we are learning to love. Next will be Steffanie's 6 month anniversary on April 21st, so please feel free to pass along recommendations of hotels/ spas/ accommodations in the twin cities we're all ears! 

Here's a few iPhone photos from our girls overnight :-)

celebrate the little things.

1 month!

Today marks 1 month officially since my start date (Monday, January 6th, 2014) of my new nursing job. In some respects time has flown by, and others it seems like I have literally watched each second pass.
Kinda funny how time works.

1 month means I officially have my health & dental insurance being taken out of my pay check under my own name.
1 month means signing up for personal professional liability insurance. 
1 month means I have approximately 1 month left of orientation on the unit until I am on my own.
1 month means that I know I can do this job, even though it is hectic and crazy at times.
1 month totals 140 hours of work & unsure of how many LMS/ online learning modules completed.
1 month means I have a lot more to learn.

I am currently laying in bed after watching 2 episodes of Bones on netflix and enjoying the life that I am living, however looking forward to what is to come. It's a feeling of humility that comes over me as I reflect on the patient's I've had and interacted with. Each have a story, co-morbidities or diagnosis, and my goal is to strive to give them the best care I can give them, in that moment, for that shift, within the parameters I have. Some days I do better than others, but I always am trying new things and put my best foot forward each shift.

I am blessed & thankful.  Challenged, but growing.

What are your accomplishments over the past month?

weekend orientation.

unknown source. probably pinterest...

I hesitate to title this other than "weekend orientation", for two reasons.

One|| I have worked nearly every weekend for sure every year I was in undergrad including summer "vacations" because I could get hours and needed the money. Before that while I was in high school the most time I had available to work was on weekends.

Two|| I think I will find a lot more success and pride once I accomplish my first weekend shift on my own and especially if it's an NOC shift 11:00pm - 7:30am, overnights.

So I almost titled this first weekend working, first weekend of nursing, but all of that seemed to not give credit for all the hours of "weekends" that I have given up in my lifetime. I actually to be completely honest am looking forward to my 0.8 appointment schedule meaning 8 shifts in a two-week pay period, and only REQUIRED to work every other weekend unless I CHOOSE to pick up.

Anyways, I ramble. This weekend I worked with the same preceptor I have been working with Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday - Sunday. Luckily for us we got the same patients for the whole time which makes coming in easier knowing who to expect, what medications they'll be receiving, so on and so forth.

I also have to admit thought, Saturday night, I got home, didn't even manage to take a shower like I normally do, and was in my bed in pajamas from 6 o'clock on, and I am pretty sure basically after 9pm I was out cold. Nursing is tiring, but not a tiring I haven't experienced working at a pool or teaching lessons. I'm just adjusting to working so many 8-hour shifts in a row on my feet.

So all this is to say that I don't know how moms & dads, or full-time 16-credit students work as staff/ hospital nurses. It's a lot to juggle and I have no children, no other responsibilities, and for gosh sakes I'm still living at home so no rent, and essentially don't have to worry about feeding myself. So props to everyone out there with way more responsibilities than I do, and I still think transitioning to young adulthood and being a grownup is difficult at times.

...in other news all the schools around me are shutting down because of the frigid "polar vortex II" coming through tommorrow with -40 degree windchill and everything else that is required for a classic freezing winter. Though I must say, I never got 3 cold/ winter days off in a school year once! (Slightly jealous..and yes the hospitals will stay open and every worker will show up with bright shiny faces...I however have the day off on Monday, and will be planning my commute for early Tuesday morning).

Happy Weekending, soaking up the last few minutes you can! That is unless you can call into work, or have the day off because of this crazy weather!

First Weekend //day shift//

New Nurse Ramblings

As I head into my first official weekend working as a nurse, luckily because of orientation it's day shifts, I look back to the last three weeks that I've completed and I feel a sense of pride, exhaustion, slightly overwhelmed, but mostly over all of the emotions a sense of peace. As I continue to dive into staff meetings, in-services, online learning modules, orientation, I feel a peace that can only come from a power bigger than myself. I cannot describe to you the feeling other than I have felt it a few times before like when I chose to go to St. Kate's for my undergrad, add a fifth year of undergrad, declared my nursing major, passing my NCLEX exam....I know it is okay and I am right where I need to be.

I do not look back and live in the moment through rose colored glasses. My first pay check in 24-hours was essentially spent on loan payments, car payments, back-peddling from past due expenses that were from when I was working part time. Realistically I won't be able to really feel "settled in" probably until I get through the first two months of work, pay checks, and a routine of working strictly evenings/ nights.

Since January 6th, 2014 {1st official start date}:
Day 1|| 4-hour day of HR welcome/ introduction to the organization regardless of specialty/ job description

Days 2 -5|| 8-hour days of Nursing Systems Orientation, organization-wide for all nursing specialties {spent in the education building out of the hospital in labs & classrooms}

Day 6|| First didactic (8-hour) day with the day nursing unit lead, we were not on the floor, but it did take place on the unit. Introduction to the unit, tour of the hospital, setting up my logins/ passwords for everything, making sure my badge works where it needs to...etc.

Orientation Wk 1; Days 7 - 10|| 4 Day shifts with the same preceptor/ orienting nurse mostly shadowing but finally on the unit in scrubs working with patients {complete}

Orientation Wk 2; Day 11|| 1 of 4 shifts total, 3 will be day shifts with same precepting nurse, and 1 evening shift with a new precepting nurse.

Notes from a Day Shift nurse:
- Getting up to my alarm at 5:15am gets easier the more day shifts I do (...as long as I am in bed by 10pm and asleep by 11pm)
- Routine in charting is key
- Having a pen handy to answer calls from family, doctors, or other departments
- 0800 medications will be the death of me
- Double check medications in med room to make sure you have everything you need, otherwise it wastes time
- Efficiency is everything, especially since there are so many appointments patients need to attend and doctors they need to see during the day


So far so good. One day at a time, but I am so excited to see what more orientation has to offer!

18 days of nursing.

source.

first 18 days of my professional nursing practice.

I'm a little disappointed to be honest I haven't been writing more on this blog for two reasons. One, I know in years to come this will be a beautiful thing to look back on for encouragement and to see where I've come from. Two, there aren't a lot of bloggers that are nurses and really articulate the journey from being a student, to a new graduate nurse, to veteran and I know that would have been awesome for me to read along in my own journey (and for those of you nurses that do exist maybe there are blogs and I don't know about them and would love if you left a comment!). So for myself, and potentially others out there I really am going to try my best to keep blogging, no matter how frequent or infrequent it may be.

Excerpt from my personal journal on Monday, January 13th, 2014:

when you're a new grad, in your first job out of undergrad, and your new boss, who will now forever be known as your first boss as a nurse tells you to buy a journal and to write in it until you at least get through your first year as a nurse, you follow her directions

....and buy a journal. 

I can't say that my writing in my personal journal out of the public eye has been written in much more than my online blog, but it's a start. I value writing, reflecting, and mindfulness. I continue to be amazed by how lucky and blessed I am to have gotten a job, with these people, working in the profession I went to school for, at an institution I could have only dreamed of in nursing school. I believe it was after the first week of orientation, and hadn't even stepped foot on the unit I received the weekly update for our unit from our boss, and at the end there was a section on personal growth and linked to it was a ted talk on vulnerability. I immediately clicked over to it, one because I love Ted Talks, and two I was intrigued as to why my boss/ nurse manager thought this Ted Talk was important enough to put in the weekly news letter. After watching the whole thing I knew why.

Nursing is a hard job, no matter if you work in home care, long-term care, community health, on a hospital unit, the ICU or med-surg, it is a hard job. It is difficult regardless if you work 8-hour days or 12-hour nights, it is difficult. I will speak for myself, but I did not go into nursing as a professional life-long career because I knew it would be easy and I would be the hero in everyone's personal health/ illness story. I went into nursing because there is a place that the nurse stands between the healthy human experience, and an experience that you hope most people don't have to witness in their life of chronic/ acute illness. Nursing has a unique opportunity to work alongside humans at their most vulnerable point and in a sacred space that no one else outside of health care, and arguably other profession can experience. I feel that nursing is the extension of my purpose in this world and am so blessed that I was able to start to figure that out when I was a 16 year old in high school. It now has lead me to this place.

In the first 18 days I have:
- Signed up for insurance and benefits
- Wrote my first nursing note as an RN that did not need to be co-signed or reviewed by anyone else
- Met nurses that work so hard to do the right thing and advocate for their patients
- Have been encouraged and supported by my boss as I venture into uncharted territory
- Received my first full-time nursing pay check
- Signed up for my first two nursing conferences ever in topics of oncology and credit for continuing ed and renewing my license
- first unit staff meeting

It's been a whirlwind experience even in the mundane, intense, and stressful. I have been on a roller coaster ride since I started this position and I once again through it all I have fully come to realize this is the best place for me right now, and that nursing is the career for me.

I just got home from my first staff meeting on the unit and feel like my role is only starting to be realized and am excited to see what God has planned for me even in the near future.

...and one more thing. after today's staff meeting once I pay off all my loans and get a little more ahead in my finances my but is getting myself to yoga ASAP!!