first monday of 2014.

2014

It's a new year, and I am as ready as I'll ever be. So far I have taken 3 photos on instagram, and mostly have involved some critique on the weather. New years seems to be the season of reflection, goal setting, positive outlook on the new year,...and all of this is good and I haven't decided if I'll do any of that on my blog yet or not. 

HOWEVER, I do have news that I have been waiting to announce until everything was officially offical; and we've made it to today. I am officially a full-time (0.8/ FTE) RN in a surgical-oncology department and I am pumped! If I have learned anything during this time of waiting is that God is faithful, good, and always has better plans than what we could fathom...it just might require some patience. 

* * *

Friday, December 13th (evening mind you) - I logged onto a portal of a local area health care system website, from my iPhone, to see if there were any positions open that I would be interested in. I knew it would be a long shot considering the holidays but decided to at least give it a chance. Sure enough there was a 0.8 (which means 8 shifts in a 2-week or 10-day work week; which for those of you who know nursing is considered full time and is benefit eligible) in the surgical-oncology department, and for those who know me or who have followed my story through nursing school know that's kinda my thing and I applied (FROM MY PHONE), thinking if I hear back...if at all it probably won't be until after the holidays anyway.

Monday, December 16th (10:30am) - I received a phone call from the HR recruiter regarding the position I applied for and if he could set up a phone interview and in-person interview. I was so stunned and excited so I of course set one up for later that week (Wednesday @ 10am - phone interview, and Thursday @ 1pm - in person interview with the unit manager).   

Thursday, December 19th (1:00pm) - I had my interview with the unit manager and I was so entirely impressed, but because of past experience I did not want to set myself up for being disappointment. However, deep inside I knew that this would be an awesome fit and great opportunity for my career.

Monday, December 23rd (1:30pm) - I had literally just gotten out of the shower still wrapped up in my towel and look down at my phone and saw that the HR representative pop up on my caller ID, I was so nervous/ excited I answered the phone. She introduced herself and offered me the position, and I was shocked/ stunned/ excited/ couldn't control myself. I had to though and be professional. Following this conversation I walked out of my room (still dripping and in my towel) everyone was home (except my youngest brother), including my brother who is usually away at college. And I did the craziest happy dance/ shouting ever, and for those who also know me really well....that's not my style, except when you get pretty darn close to your dream job that you've been hoping and praying for since before starting nursing school.

* * * 

I cannot describe or explain how thankful I am, and how I do not take any of this for granted. This experience and journey to full-time employment was one like a roller coaster ride, and was the story of expecting the unexpected. All in all, I graduated May 25, 2013....took my board exam on Wednesday, July 3rd...found out I passed and was a licensed RN Friday, July 5th. I began applying for jobs Monday, July 15th, almost 5 months exactly to the day I finally received an offer of sustainable employment that will provide a firm foundation for my nursing career.

Even as I type this I hurt and yearn for satisfying jobs for my peers who are either unemployed, or employed but haven't found a good fit yet as new nurses who worked equally as hard to graduate with their degree and pass their boards.

Today was my first day. It started early this morning where I sat  in a half-day session for all new employees (not just new nursing hires) with the HR department. I cannot wait to get on the floor and work alongside well-experienced and practiced nurses where I can learn, grow, and develop my nursing practice as a new young professional. 

* * *

At the end of my interview when asked, "Why should I hire you?", I responded with something like this;

I love working with people and have a heart for people that are experiencing cancer diagnoses. 

Most importantly, even though I am a new graduate with limited experience, I am confident in one thing; and that is that the nursing field and career is for me, through all of my experiences both in my personal life and academically, even though difficult at times I have never questioned my commitment to nursing as what I want to do.

That is 100% the truth from the bottom of my heart. 

I know nursing is hard. It is draining. It is not always fun. 

BUT, it is necessary and important work that requires people working within their strengths and talent areas to provide care and compassion to people in difficult circumstances.

I am up for the challenge. 

Let's do this thing!

I believe I can.

source.

Itching for something. Just don't know what.

source unknown.

I LOVE change. I LOVE the feeling of newness, excitement, uncertainty, butterflies,...all of it. Embracing that is something that really invigorates all of my being to be stretched and grow into a person I didn't even know exists.

BUT, I HATE transitions. I loathe them. The limbo, the not quite to the destination, but hanging out between, the grey area of life. That is tough, and I don't think I'm very good at them.

So there.

Maybe that's why I have had a hard time keeping up with my blog lately. Right now my life is routine, yet not. I spend my free time with friends, doing yoga, and then I work between 20 - 25 hours a week at the same place that employed me as a young teenager. Then I am trying to perfect my resume's and cover letter, apply for various RN positions, and keep an open mind. It's hard. The hardness in transition makes it difficult to fully embrace the good that is happening in my life right now, and actually there's a lot of good.

So in hopes to start my week off on the right foot, here's my list of good:

• As of setting my foot for the first time in a yoga studio on Thursday, September 12th today will be my 9th day "coming to my mat"... that means only two days off in 10 days off, and it really truly feels so good
• Making new relationships with people that I always was around and never invested in, I forgot how much quality relationships (romantic or otherwise) can really make me feel more well-rounded
• Potential vehicle to purchase has become available, so I'm crossing my fingers that at 23 I can actually purchase and own my very own vehicle, I mean slice of freedom
• Young adult group on Sunday mornings, new people came this morning bright and early at 9am, church has always been a part of my life but I haven't always participated outside the service as much as I should or have liked, so it's exciting to see that community grow

Life is filled with a lot of good, I just have to learn how to look for it, not over-analyze it, and embrace it! 
Here's to a new week filled with positivity and goodness.

Finding my niche in transition.

Photo outside Thomas Jefferson's Monticello Aug-2013

Hello. It's me, Ashley.  Do you remember me?

I am currently laying on my bed with this view, added candles always make it feel better. Listening to BDot, Subject to Change (first time sitting down and listening to the whole album start to finish since it's been released). I am sad that #fortydaysofdating is over (and now that I read the date it ended on my 23rd birthday, obviously not posted until now, obviously random & not important information). My alma mater started school this last Wednesday, and I don't really know how I feel about that, other than I don't miss having the responsibility and homework associated with being a student. Staring at my feet make me forget the last time I got a pedicure, and my nails really need some TLC. Thinking about a lot lately and what this transition from undergrad to young adulthood will look like, ...trying to still keep positive and moving forward on "real life". Also, feeling moments of gratitude for the help and support I'm receiving from friends and family as I apply for nursing jobs. Thankful for the time and space to say "yes" to more things where when I was in school I had to give up a lot of social engagements because of class/ clinical/ studying/ work/ you name it.

Even though I had a window into job hunting last spring and summer, while looking for a CNA job it's still tough feeling like most of the time you are getting rejected and it's hard to not take it personally. I only started applying for jobs mid-July and as a new graduate in the job market there aren't as many options then if I had even 6 mos to a year experience. I continue to update and change my resume, meet with people in the field, and stay on top of hospital openings, but it can get discouraging.

Enough of the blah stuff. I am hoping I can get my butt into gear, share some photos from my family's trip to Washington D.C., and a few other things I've been meaning to put blog posts together about. We'll see how it goes, I'm cautiously optimistic!

Happy Monday!
Wishing for a good week even though I'm still in limbo.